He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
