he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's rum buckets o'clock
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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