Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize