Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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