well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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