Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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