The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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