In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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