TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
