she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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