Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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