She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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