So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
