You're so nebulous sometimes
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
