I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
