she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just pynch a tree in the face
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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