Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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