FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize