the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
