Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
