Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
