If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize