just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Randomize
