did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize