Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
