I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize