You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
