I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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