Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
