that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
