I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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