Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
