What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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