Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
