i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
