it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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