just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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