I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
