No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
