I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
