i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think your dad took our porno
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
