you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
