is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
