Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
