tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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