mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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