Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
