He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
