So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
