i barfeds in our rink
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
