It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
