I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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