remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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