hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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