I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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