just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
