I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
