obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
