So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
