Moan for me like Helen Keller
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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