You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
