Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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