Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
